posts: add dream diary 1

Signed-off-by: Amneesh Singh <natto@weirdnatto.in>

about.org

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ title: About
 ---
 
 * Alo
-My name is Amneesh Singh but I also go as natto (or natto1784) online. I was born in the blazing hot summer of 2003 in India, where I also currently reside (just in a different region). I am currently a freshman in college studying engineering. My major is Information Technology, though the subjects are more or less the same as Computer Science. I struggle with basic tasks but I can barely help that.
+My name is Amneesh Singh but I also go as natto (or natto1784) online. I was born in the blazing hot summer of 2003 in India, where I also currently reside (just in a different region). I am currently a freshman in college studying engineering. My major is Information Technology. I struggle with basic tasks but I can barely help that.
 
 I like a lot of things but currently I am into Emacs and functional programming. I also enjoy listening to Trivium. But the thing that I like the most is sleeping, I really do sleep a lot.
 

css/default.css

@@ -181,6 +181,11 @@ article > section {
   display: none;
 }
 
+.center {
+  text-align: center;
+  font-weight: bold;
+}
+
 code {
   font-family: 'Cascadia Code', sans-serif;
 }
@@ -193,8 +198,9 @@ code {
 pre {
   padding: 2rem;
   border-radius: 1rem;
+  border-left: 0.5rem solid var(--cyan);
   background: var(--bg1);
-  overflow: scroll;
+  overflow-x: auto;
 }
 
 .toc {

links.org

@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+---
+title: Links
+---
+
+Random links I find useful
+
+** Linux
+- [[https://wiki.archlinux.org][ArchWiki]]: The official ArchLinux wiki.
+- [[https://nixos.wiki/][NixOS Wiki]]: The unofficial user's wiki for Nix/NixOS/Nixpkgs and surrounding infrastructure.
+- [[https://search.nixos.org/][NixOS Search]]: The search page for packages under Nixpkgs (and NixOS options).
+- [[https://www.protondb.com/][protondb]]: Compatibility reports for games run with Proton under Linux.
+
+** Reading and writing
+- [[https://writing.stackexchange.com][Writing StackExchange]]: Q&A for writing.
+- [[https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com][Worldbuilding StackExchange]]: Q&A regarding worldbuilding.
+- [[https://www.myanonamouse.net][MyAnonamouse]]: A private torrent tracker for books.
+- [[https://punjabilibrary.com/][ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਲਾਇਬ੍ਰੇਰੀ]]: Punjabi Library, a library for Punjabi books and audiobooks.
+- [[https://syosetu.com/][小説家になろう]]: Shōsetsuka ni Narō, a Japanese novel publishing website.
+
+** History
+- [[https://www.larsdatter.com/index.html][Larsdatter]]: Medieval & Rennaissance Material Culture.
+- [[https://www.medievalchronicles.com][Medieval Chronicles]]: A library about medieval stuff.
+
+** Code Repositories
+- [[https://github.com/NixOS/nixpkgs][Nixpkgs]]: Nix Packages collection.
+- [[https://github.com/concourse/concourse][Concourse CI]]: A continuous thing-doer.
+- [[https://github.com/emacs-lsp/lsp-mode][lsp-mode]]: Emacs library for Language Server Protocol.
+- [[https://gitlab.com/qemu-project/qemu][QEMU]]: The famous virtualization API library.
+- [[https://gitlab.com/libvirt/libvirt/][libvirt]]: The famous virtualization API library.

posts/2022-05-13-tnn.org

@@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
----
-title: amaang
-tags: arebhay
----
-
-crazy frog
-
-#+BEGIN_EXPORT html
-<!--more-->
-#+END_EXPORT
-Almost

posts/2022-06-05-feign-1.org

@@ -0,0 +1,76 @@
+---
+title: Feign Chapter 1 - Shadripu
+tags: creative_writing, feign
+author: AlpaViraam
+---
+"Ha". Thinking is an arduous task; however, not so much when you have nothing else to do. There he was, staring holes into the supposedly hostile air on this mundane summer day, as if anticipating the end of a decisive battle. /The hellish hours are over now./ He rose with the sluggishness of a dead sloth. His rough, yet feeble arms swept across the table as he tried to wrap things up, stopping briefly as he stared down the silver hourglass on the side for no more than three menacing seconds. The unpolished window doors were slammed shut, as he put his seemingly empty bag over his shoulders. After wiping his already clean hands against his worn-out clothes and checking the door lock for the third time, he finally left his shed of a shop; albeit wearing a poker face.
+
+#+begin_export html
+<!--more-->
+#+end_export
+/Tomorrow is the first day of the festival, a grand opportunity. Something so tedious does not interest me, but it wouldn't hurt if my pocket silver was to clink a little louder./ He walked briskly, lost in his thoughts about the near future concerning him.
+
+"Wrick!", yelled an auburn man of tall stature. The man hurried over in what seemed like an instant. With an unpleasant frown on his glamorous face, the two were now blocking each others' line of sight.
+
+The man looked up with a pained expression that said /I already know why he is here/.
+
+"I will return it as soon as possible", said the man with discomfort written all over his face.
+
+"Oh, you will? It has been six long weeks since then. I hope you do realise that although I am not charging any interest, I am not your friend; nor am I a rich man who can afford to lend so much without any care. Had I known about your lethargic self not being true to your words, I would have not lent you a single dime."
+
+"I am sure you are not pleased with my recent behaviour, allow me to apologise. I'd positively return your money by the upcoming week. I want you to know that I appreciate you doing me this favour given our history, Joun."
+
+"I do not require your appreciation, Doughlebagg! I require my hard-earned money back. The only reason I lent it to you was that we were in the same graduating class."
+
+"I am sorry, but I don't have that much money on me at the moment."
+
+"And how exactly do you plan on securing that money by the next week?"
+
+"There is the upcoming festival; and if I have to, I will mortgage my shop."
+
+"You've got a sense of humour. You will mortgage your entire shop for a mere debt?"
+
+"Please, Joun, my feelings are sincere."
+
+"Fine, next week, but with fifteen percent additional interest."
+
+"You can't be this cruel!"
+
+"Why yes, I can be as cruel as I want. You have always been this way, believing that the things will go the way you want them to go, but not this time."
+
+"Alright, I do not want to see you before seven days have passed then."
+
+The auburn man, Joun Cartingus, took off expressing his disinterest in him. The latter also advanced with quick steps, even quicker than before, betraying his languid demeanour from before. However, it was not long before he had to slow down his steps. He had reached his place of residence, which was just a dingy couple of rooms.
+
+#+begin_center
+WRICK HART DOUGHLEBAGG
+#+end_center
+
+That is what the nameplate read. The name of this shabby, middle-aged man was Wrick. He went straight to his bed without even changing his clothes. Shabby as they were, he did not have an awful lot of them. There he laid, with his face exhibiting a mix of emotions, primarily disappointment and frustration. It was not soon after that there was a knock on his creaky door. He laid there for a handful of minutes before getting up steadily. This languor was not due to his physical fragility, just an overtaking maneuver by the sin of the sloth kind. It took him a little shy of five whole minutes to open the door.
+
+"Hello, sorry for the delay, how may I help you?"
+
+Only silence prevailed, there was no reply, there was no one at the door, just a piece of paper on the hard stone threshold.
+
+#+begin_src
+Do not show your face at the festival.
+- Karr
+#+end_src
+
+Karr Hart Doughlebagg, Wrick's son, his only child. Wrick closed the door leaving the paper right where he picked it up and went back to his bed.
+
+/So he is back from his expedition to Gordge already, as expected of a prodigy like Karr. I don't want to disrupt his work but the debt is huge, the entirety of three hundred blits, no, three hundred and sixty eight blits must be repaid to Joun, not going to the festival is not an option. It is not like people don't already know that we are related. Dropping his last name didn't help in the slightest; can't blame him for hating me though./
+
+He went back to his room, worrying about his future and ruminating about his past simultaneously. He laid there again, this time, with the daily gazette in his hands. The rest of the evening was spent reading it with a monotonous expression, ending with him going to sleep without any supper; this was not his first time, however. He was in debt but not so poor as to not be able to afford a plain meal.
+
+Again betraying his lazy self, he was up before the sun was. The motivation behind this was simple; today was the day, the first day of the Supra festival. He could pay most, if not all of his debt if he played his cards right today. Mistakes were prohibited today. Nothing is certain except what a man plans in his head, and Wrick was certain about his plans for today. He was trying hard to not be his usual self, would be an understatement. He was dressed in his best clothes, a simple yet elegant attire that outshone the wearer itself, and was probably worn once or twice at most. Mimicking the common populace was not a problem for him, since he was a merchant. Unlike yesterday, he even ate a proper meal for breakfast; a bowl of grainy porridge and some light bread. The unamused old-timer expression was still there but his eyes were determined. Flashy as they were, his looks were not in the slightest, extravagant for a merchant. The door was locked and he was off to a place different from his usual place of work, which was a shabby-looking shop no further than a few hundred meters away from his place of residence.
+
+This time he would be playing merchant at the Pludgin, the cultural centre where all merchant guild members were provided with a fairly small merchant stall. The guild was also responsible for transporting every merchant's goods, which in Wrick's case, unlike other members of the guild, were unsurprisingly not yet transported. However, it was only five in the morning, and the transportation distance was only about ten kilometers since he carefully chose his place near the heart of the eastern city of Bablos, perfectly close to the city's guild office and the Pludgin. By the virtue of his careful planning and the excellent guild services, he never had to buy a horse or a cart. He spared no time getting to the office and issuing the transportation request. The receptionist gave him a mild but mean glare causing him to shift his eyes to the cold, wooden ground. He spent no more time than required at the guild and headed straight to his little old shop with the assigned carriage and its supposed driver.
+
+The carriage was loaded with the selected "goods" which in Wrick's case were an extensive collection of things ranging from delicate glassware and premium quality silk to some silverware and luxury books, written by only the best clerics and writers. His recent purchases of these high-quality expensive goods were the reason he did not make enough money, common people simply could not afford the luxuries he offered while sitting in his small shop like a troll in his cave. But the festival was an excellent opportunity to get rid of these expensive items for good. He was extremely anxious and could not stop thinking about the possible futures awaiting him, but he was not clumsy in the slightest; after all, he was not a mere commoner but a merchant, a member of the guild and had an image to uphold. It was not even an hour and they were already at their destination. He got off and started stacking all his goods under his stall with his sweaty hands, occasionally looking up at the driver for help, only to see his nape and his upright back. Being a single man with no helpers cost him a substantial amount of time but he was done with two hours to spare until noon, the opening time for the public.
+
+With everything set up and some time to kill, he started scouting out potential rivals for the next couple of days. There were familiar faces and some not even native to the city, but none friendly. There was a particularly peculiar stall opposite to his, which had no goods but decks of cards and dice; its cross-eyed owner appeared to be a city local but not one of the people Wrick recognised, which was rare. /A stall for gambling, perhaps?/ The fact that the place was meant to be a public marketplace and not a gambling den earned the stall owner frowns and an unrespectable status among the other stall owners prior to the opening.
+
+As the clock struck twelve, the crowd came rushing in and everyone including Wrick got busy. He expected nothing much, a decent amount of sales would be more than enough to repay his debts, he definitely wanted extra income earlier but now he was satisfied with just being able to repay his debt with as little effort as possible. The busy day was not enough to knock a veteran small-time merchant like Wrick off his feet despite him being used to sitting idle for weeks now. Surprisingly, the gambling stall was full of customers as well, even during the peak afternoon hours, but nobody had time to worry about it.
+
+The crowd thinned as dusk fell rapidly and the only stall with a decent amount of customers was the gambling stall. This did not mean that it was a bad day for others, everyone made fairly large amounts of profit. Wrick was done counting the money and the profits exceeded his debt, he was satisfied with his hard-earned income of seven hundred twenty blits. He was however still wearing the unamused expression that he always wore. Now that his mind was free from worries, at least for today, he could afford to divert his attention to the gambling stall and its owner. He did not particularly have any harsh feelings towards him but was certainly jealous that a merchant like him was falling behind such a man. Now exhausted, his pride took over his emotions out of nowhere. Jealous and curious, with some money to burn, he started moving towards the stall in question with a sharp gold coin worth a hundred blits resting within his tight fist. As he approached the stall, the busy owner turned his head towards this new potential customer, wearing a slight childish grin as he has been since morning. 

posts/2022-06-19-frustrations.org

@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+---
+title: Frustrations
+tags: rant
+author: Amneesh
+---
+
+I apologise in advance for my grammar and semi-vulgar overtones.
+
+My life has never been a good one, but the only person to blame for that is me. I am much more of a failure than I would like to admit. I cannot even understand what I mean by words anymore; what do I even consider a failure? My pretentious self is always telling myself that there is no such thing as a failure, for all is worthless; leading me to nihilistic thoughts which I find comfort in. Sometimes, I consider myself a nihilist; and other times, I am like this, crying over things I should not.
+
+#+begin_export html
+<!--more-->
+#+end_export
+
+I get easily frustrated over my own inabilities and throw tantrums, often upsetting the people around me. I respect those people the most, although I always fail to make them realise that. I cannot even drop subtle hints because they never pick up on them.
+
+I cannot find joy in anything anymore. Money cannot help me, I have seen poor people live more happily than me and I have seen rich people making merry at gatherings. The things I 'think' I find joy in, are nothing more than stupid things my pretentious, subconscious self thinks of. The truth is that I cannot find joy in anything anymore, the days just pass and nothing happens. Things only keep me 'busy' now and nothing is fun or thrilling anymore; and don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being busy. But the things that keep me busy are often the ones that end up hurting me even more when I am 'done' with them. At this point, I just tell myself to love the pain and frustrations involved, and it sort of helps. Most people of the 21st century just find joy in consooming media but I cannot even do that anymore. The only media I consoom are things that I had known before this phase of mine started. I cannot just sit and consoom anything new.
+
+Another thing I have learnt from the past few months is that, the more you talk with people, the more pretentious you start to grow and I am no exception. I did not interact with people physically much until few months ago and I was way less pretentious back then. It is really funny once you think about how it is so easy to spot when someone is acting pretentious but then you act the same way and more often than not, people tend to realise it the same way you did it with them and nothing happens. It just continues to be this way, at least, in everyone's post teen years. I can only observe as I do not possess the power and experience to change how things work. The only thing I can try to do is remain humble and not upset others. I want to destroy my pretentious self but I cannot do that unless I get rid of my pride and my greed at least, which is nigh impossible to achieve.
+
+I cannot stay still, once I do, I start thinking of things that I do not really want to think. When someone fails to keep up with me, I get really annoyed and even if I don't straight up tell them that, my body language does. When the same thing happens to me, I start feeling guilty and shaking this feeling of guilt off is not an easy task for someone who holds on to the minor things that happened an year or two ago and still gets frustrated over them.
+
+I am super clumsy and cannot do most of the things that an average man can do with ease. I cannot measure to be even half the man my father is and I want to show him that I can at least be one-tenth of a man he is, before he goes away, for then, I shall not be able to do anything but sob.
+
+The pursuit of doing anything that I find interesting for short terms have left me with nothing but half baked chunks of personalities mingled together. And note that the things I find 'interesting' are not the same as the things I find 'joy' in. I am not at all suicidal but I feel like I should have never existed. I have no personality and I despise people who pretend that they do when they clearly don't.
+
+The bottom line is my ideals, my desires, my goals and my interests are a complete mess and do not align with each other at all, similar to the axes of a four dimensional space. I am not sure why anyone would read this till the end, thank you for reading this short rant of mine. The person that I want to be, the person that I think I am, and the person that I really am, are very different as of now and I hope that I will be able to make them the same in the near future.

posts/2022-06-27-dream-diary-1.org

@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+---
+title: Dream Diary 1
+tags: dream_diary
+author: natto
+enabletoc: true
+---
+
+*WARNING: Highly chuunibyou content*
+
+* What
+** Why
+So I, more often than not, have really fun dreams (sometimes even lucid). I shall be writing them down now as records for the public but only those ones that really, really do affect me.
+
+** What dreams
+I usually have dreams in a two phase system where I see two dreams in one night because one of them gets disrupted when I wake up in between. So when I have these two phase dreams, I'll be writing only the one that I remember i.e, the second one. Also these will be *short* since I do not remember most of the dream in detail.
+
+#+begin_export html
+<!--more-->
+#+end_export
+
+** What will be omitted
+Anything that I do not remember and everything that I deem insignificant. The backgrounds and the noises, like most other dreams, do not make sense and make you feel like you are on drugs, so I might omit those as well since they will be a recurring thing.
+
+* Format
+The text in [[dream][Dream]] follows the following syntax
+- =verbatim= :: Post wakeup thoughts or analysis.
+- /italic/ :: Real life connections in the dream.
+- +strike+ :: Improbable things.
+
+* <<dream>> Dream
+I find myself in a local Delhi street, trying to buy Kulfi-Falooda off a street vendor, who runs out of it just then. He asks me to wait until he restocks it. So I wait and wait and he goes "Sorry, we do not serve Kulfi-Falooda anymore since it is not profitable for us now." This leaves me completely devastated and I start screaming really loud.
+
+The ground below me starts to disappear as I fall into an endless pit of void. Suddenly, the environment changed, this time, a greenhouse. I turn around and find severely-out-of-place chemistry lab equipment on the shelf. Walking out of there, I find out that this was in fact, a school. There was an absurd amount pretty girls and handsome boys walking all around. I feel a little overwhelmed and suddenly notice the backpack on me. I reach in and find a card that says
+
+#+begin_src
+a.
+#+end_src
+
+Then immediately I rush back into the greenhouse to find two people in lab coats /similar to what I had to wear in my school labs/. They were doing something with the lab equipment, then it dawned upon me that they were synthesising methamphetamine. They noticed me and immediately rushed and started choking me. I die.
+
+I wake up in a classroom this time. I find myself around a group of people who are apparently my friends. I suddenly realise that I switch timelines everytime on random triggers. Weirdly enough, I kept talking with them as if I knew them for a long time. Suddenly, black clouds start covering up the outside sky. Five beautiful humanoid girls spawn in as if this was a game of Apex Legends. =I remember none of the names in the dream except one of these girls, which I will talk about later. For now, let's name these girls W, V, X, Y and Z=. They come forward claiming that they have been sent by the +lower gods+ and they must marry me. Surprisingly enough, I was not elated or amused, instead I was frustrated, =frustrated similar to how I have been for the past few months over some trivial things that no one will probably understand=.
+
+The girls do not particularly seem very interested in me and the feeling goes both ways. The teacher comes in and announces a surprise unofficial chemistry class test. Instructions were to attempt any three of the four questions in the paper and I knew answers to all four of them. I start writing and the time speeds up in a very comical fashion. I get super confused, I see a girl sitting next to me, it was one of those five humanoid creatures, =I do not remember her name, but she is the only character I remember the face of=, let's call her W. The teacher announces that there are only 5 minutes left until the bell rings. This completely baffles me, since it has only been 5 minutes since this 90 minute test started. W explains to me, how time sped up only for me and how I must hurry. I can no longer see of feel the presence of V, X, Y and Z by this point. The only things I feel are me, W and the test paper in front of me. I barely finish solving one question and submit the test.
+
+I am unusually shook and W looks at me without saying anything, her eyes trying to console the pitiful me. Then we talk about things =that I do not remember= and she asks me, "Why do you not look into the eyes of people when talking?". =This is a real life trait of mine, I tend to not look into the eyes of the person I am talking to for more than 25% of the conversation=. Then I stare into her eyes and she stares into mine. Although we were not talking, we were still staring into each other's eyes and we continued to do so for a long, really long time. It felt so peaceful, a feeling of transquility entirely engulfed me. Although I am an atheist, it felt like I was talking to some kind of greater power. =I would do anything to feel this kind of calm outside my dreams=. Her calm and composed self broke out of the trance and so did mine. X, Y and Z went back to the sky saying that they do not want to marry me after all. I bid W farewell, she was a bit hesitant to leave me alone but disappeared suddenly in the end anyway. V stayed behind, but with some intention different than the one she came with.
+
+As soon as they go back to where they came from, I faint. I wake up this time at my home except I have an older brother now and V is still there. My brother, G, begins to tell me how there is some kind of cyborg like man living in the street next to ours who has been trying to kill him. We decide to go and kill him together, but first, we decide to grab some lunch at "Vaishnav Bhojanalay", where he decides to smoke a fuckton of cigarettes after eating. After a long delay, we finally reach at our destination. We knock at his door, but the man does not come to the door to greet us. We +break in+ to find that the guy who was running weird experiments and plotting to kill G was Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear Rising. A blade appears in my hand and G starts screaming "RULES OF NATURE". I somehow manage to kill him with no wounds but G steals all the glory. V apparently wanted to marry G, so she hopped in with me to this timeline. =Also, V is the only character, I remember the name of, but I shall not disclose it.= Unable to go back to my timeline, I just start driving my car for no reason with V and G making out in the back for some reason.
+
+And then, I wake up.
+
+* Thoughts
+The dream was much weirder than how I described it, as I left out the LSD-like backgrounds and noises. The highlight for me was the second part of the dream. Although in a dream, such peace and tranquility was much needed for me. There were a few more timelines I very vaguely remember, but I cannot write them down since I do not remember enough details. W was just magical, I can still vividly recall her face. I will probably start looking at people more when talking now. I like how I kept reminiscing about the part with W for like fifteen or so minutes after waking up.

src/site.hs

@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ main = hakyllWith config $ do
     route idRoute
     compile compressCssCompiler
 
-  match (fromList ["about.org", "contact.org"]) $ do
+  match (fromList ["about.org", "contact.org", "links.org"]) $ do
     route $ setExtension "html"
     compile $
       pandocCompiler

templates/default.html

@@ -17,6 +17,7 @@
                 <a href="/about.html">About</a>
                 <a href="/contact.html">Contact</a>
                 <a href="/archive.html">Archive</a>
+                <a href="/links.html">Links</a>
             </nav>
         </header>